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Bullshit Art

Frank Caustic

Frank Caustic, Gallery owner of the Caustic Galleries chain of art galleries, located in Queens, New York; Thorsby, Alabama; Duck Lake, Michigan; Hazan, North Dakota; and Upper Sandusky, Ohio, showcased his new software created and coded by his eleven-year-old son, Herbert, which can design art of any kind in a matter of a few minutes.

Called "F-Artists," the software program can be set at any medium, such as painting (abstract, classic, modern, contemporary); sculpture; mixed media; photography; and a number of other art mediums. The program will then execute an original piece using robotic armature for paintings and 3-D technology printing for sculptural work.

Asked what the "F" stood for in the program's title, Mr. Caustic, laughingly, said it could be interpreted a number of ways depending on one's use of four-letter words. He indicated sales of the software program were doing a brisk business among gallerists throughout the world. He said, "Look, who needs artists kvetching, asking for money, love and fame. I mean, who needs it. Here's a program my sweet lovely Herbert built in his bedroom, after school, that does away with all that crap that goes on in running an art gallery."

Art Might Happen magazine recently reviewed Mr. Caustic's new F-Artist software program and indicated, "This will be an enormous sea change in producing and selling art. And who really needed that awful kvetching from the artists. I mean, really!"

Mr. Caustic indicated he has received inquiries from several major museums throughout the world. He indicated, "This is an exciting time for the arts!"

Kampusill Art