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Bullshit Art


Maria Govinda Schwartz-Hauptmann, considered to be the foremost performance artist in the world, will be performing her classic piece, "You Talkin Ta Me?, in the Sheep Meadow in Central Park and will remain in performance for three years non-stop.

"You Talkin Ta Me?, her celebrated paean to her parents, Tess and Hubert Schwartz-Hauptmann, has had the distinguished honor to be performed as a featured piece at the Veneziali Biennale 18 years in a row. It is the only performance piece that has ever been given this honor.

Ms. Schwartz-Hauptmann, in describing the piece, lovingly credits her two schizophrenic parents who owned the Dry, Dry, Dry, Dry Cleaning Store in Rockaway Beach in Brooklyn, New York. When Maria was five years old she began running in between the completed dry cleaning garments on the movable rack in the store, peeking through the plastic covered garments, looking directly at her parents and saying, "You Talkin Ta Me?" Of course, she goes on to say, due to their profound illness, they never talked to me, ever.

Albert Dellatante, famed art reviewer for the well read and leading art magazine, Art Tomorrow, Tonight & Thursday, indicated that Maria is planning to do the incredible by standing in the Sheep Meadow at Central Park for three years non-stop performing this classic piece of hers. The longest she has ever done the piece, prior to this attempt, was in Kerala, India, during the monsoons. She stayed in the incredibly arduous and difficult position for 17 months, 3 days, 4 hours, 23 minutes and 15 seconds. Certainly an astounding record at the time.

When asked if she sees any connection to the title of her piece with the famous film Taxi Driver, where Robert DeNiro, the actor, uses that same line, she just shrugs and says, "I've never seen the film and I was saying that when I was a teeny little kid trying to get the attention of my mishegoss parents.

Maria Govinda Schwartz-Hauptmann Art